Spring. It’s definitely here today. And with it, comes a renewed desire to live. Maybe I’ve spent so long at rock bottom that I’m finally rested enough to start to pick myself up. Or maybe it’s the dawning realisation that no one else is doing anything remotely useful to aid my recovery (by that I mean professionally, not personally – I am surrounded by beautiful people) so it’s down to me to get back on my feet and pull the broken parts of my soul back together again.
Whatever, I feel good today. There is hope. I even caught myself singing out loud!
At the weekend, some beautiful flower fairy sent me some narcissi (or little daffodils) in the post. They had come all the way from the Scilly Isles, and the brilliant burst of yellow really made me smile.
There was no card, though I searched and searched, so I had no idea who they were from. Asking around, I came across many people, who all said “Oh! They’re not from me, but I wish they were!” – there’s a lesson in there for all of us.
After a while, the mystery was solved by my lovely cousin. They had been sent by my Auntie Sally, which was a much lovelier surprise than any of the people I might have suspected. It’s always nice to know that someone is thinking of you.
Over the last few days, I have attempted to get out and about a little more than I have been. Firstly, out of necessity. I had a meeting with the headmistress. It wasn’t a meeting I was particularly looking forward to (though I should have known better, she is a wise and honest woman) so I felt really lucky to find myself sitting on the bus next to a chatty woman and her grandson. “Did you hear what happened to the 93 bus stop?” she asked, as I tried my hardest to stop my hands from shaking and not have a panic attack about being on the journey to school.
“No” I replied.
“They nicked it. One day it was there, and then it was gone”. We had a laugh about that, and she took my mind off everything. (Except, maybe, how it is possible to steal an entire bus shelter from a main road in Morden without anyone noticing, and also why you would want to…).
Today, the little old lady who stopped me in the park to remark on how lovely it was that I was wearing purple when everyone else looked so gloomy (she agreed it was nearly spring) and the man at the coffee shop who gave me a free shot of the richest hot chocolate I have ever tasted, and the boy who remarked to his mother and I: “You can’t walk through the river. You’d get wet”, were further proof of what I have begun to suspect: Not only are there still some lovely people in the world, but also – and you don’t have to go with me on this one – there are sometimes people who are real answers to prayers. The prayers of all those people around me of real faith are daily sending people to make me smile. And for that, I thank those people and Whoever Else is responsible. I feel very blessed.
One other reason to be joyful. The council came to dig up the road the other day. I got cross, thinking it was for some awful reason, and then, yesterday, some lovely men came and planted a row of these little beauties.
Hurrah for Local Councils everywhere (while there’s still reason to hurrah).